DUMMY:
I’ve been camping out at the Hydey with beer and cig in hand awaiting another cracking TB gig. Silly me, the Hydey is now a giant bottle shop.
Anyway, we are older but still fucked up and so require TB immediately to play any fucking where in Perth. Please supply.
(Black Hydey from Hydey)
TUCKER B’S:
I just hope that with age you’ve become a bit tidier, a bit more disciplined when it comes to oral hygiene, and better able to afford more and higher quality tablets for your bottom back issues. We will play in Purth as soon as we emerge from the deepest, darkest dreams within forrests of nightmares of hallways of mirrors in glasses of bottles floating on wet ocean nightmares in dusty-throat night-sweats all set genst a backdrop of laughter and lAdies, drinks and cute babies, games, pizzas, ciggies, DVD’s and half dried eyeballs…See you soon champion!
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DUMMY:
Hello!
I am running a night of rock n roll debauchery that will be happening every two months or so and Id LOVE to book the Tucker bs for our gig at the Tote in Melbourne in a few months. Havent heard about you guys in awhile so just wondering whats been happening? You still playing?
Here is some quick info on our night:
It is primarily alt-country and rockabilly. We will be getting 2-3 Sydney bands and 2-3 Melbourne bands and start doing shows in Melbourne and Sydney every couple of months, bringing a couple of Melbourne bands up and taking a couple of Sydney bands down. (it will be at The Tote in Melbourne). There are all of these amazing bands in Melbourne and Sydney that dont have the cash to self-fund a tour and we want to be able to help them out a bit and eventually be able to finance their trips.
So we are mainly looking for headliner bands (who will be paid) and local support acts to gain exposure for these local bands.
If you are interested in talking more please dont hesitate to email me. We would LOVE to have the Tucker Bs on board.
Cheers,
—
Kieryn Hyde
Graphic Designer
Im still listening to…..
Lenny and the Piss Poor Boys Cambridgeport Saloon

Melbourne Sydney Perth Brisbane
2-4 Bond Street Level 1/ 142 Chalmers St 1/205-207 Bulwer St Suite 11/354 Brunswick St
Abbotsford VIC 3057 Surry Hills NSW 2010 Perth WA 6000 Fortitude Valley QLD 4006
P: 61 3 9421 4499 P: 61 2 9331 7077 P:61 8 9228 9655 P: 61 7 3252 9666
(kieryn from melbourne)
TUCKER B’S:
Book it in, sow it up and watch it grow (red and painful)(tentatively). I will send you volumes A-F of THE manual: “Pre-conditions, Pitfalls, Conditions, Rules, Recommendations, Do’s, Suggested Techniques and Strategies for Booking The Tucker B’s and Don’ts” which will give you guidance on what may or may not be required to get the ball rolling. Looking forward to receiving the words on the paper(s).
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DUMMY:
Give us an update you idiots.
(Baldie from from from from from )
TUCKER B’S:
Since you ask so nicely: I’ve been asleep (mentally) and all I’ve dreemed about are laps. Not the laps of my circuits or that warm area in the land of luxury nor but the zones betwixt your knees and hips (snap) or the wooded joint but – but rather the taking in of liquid with the tongue. Basically, I FIRSTY WAS ALL THIS TIME, SEE?
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DUMMY:
does the beard man really know how to make pedals for bicycles guitars and if so how much for a whole bike, or one. and what type of effect would it have on my bicycleaxe, would it distort and go fast or be all flangey like youse mums?
(don from perth)
TUCKER B’S:
no he doesn’t and they aren’t cheap! But if you send me your Dadaz car keys and your home address and a new bathrobe and some money for the bus and a refill of ma beer bottyl, then I’ll get ya one half price. The effect is to make your lap feel soft yet amorous – almost eliminating the odour entirely – nuthin like ma mums electric flange er (wiv all due respect)
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DUMMY:
step off dummy i’m the king! hey guys…..... so since the tucker b’s don’t play so much, what other bands would i find you in?
(suzi from adelaide)
TUCKER B’S:
Hello Suzi! Adelaide? Wicked city. Oh you may find members of the Tucker B’s all play in a mythical band called “The Rock, The Cut and the Hole”. This band tends to plays your ear hairs like a harp when you sleep, thus ensuring that your dreemz are always have a cat with two heads hiding in the background, moaning with a and finally, not lifting the seat as it strokes the cistern of your serendipity.
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