DUMMY:
So why are you playing in Melb, Syd and Perth…but not brisbane..?
(Kellie from brisbane)
TUCKER B’S:
Because we are too scred to set fist in brossmoyne on account of the lolly shortage over there and all the grass is brown according to the latest news and what about your fizzy drinks don’t got them bubbles any maore and next time you see me Lekkie, will be when I shave your head inmate style and cover you in flat baloons.
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DUMMY:
You are the foreman in charge of license plate production. Your equipment can produce two different gauges of steel, one weighing about 90% of the other. Normally you use the heavier gauge but one week you leave that responsibility to someone else who sets the gauge randomly every day. After a week you realize that some days the license plates may have been made of the lighter gauge steel. Every days license plates are kept in separate piles. You may use a digital scale once which will give an exact weight of whatever you decide to weigh. Assume that the heavy gauge license plates weigh 1 unit each and the light ones 0.9 units each. You may use the scale only once. How many license plates from each pile should you put on the scale?
(ding dong from mars)
TUCKER B’S:
Easy: 700000. See, while I am the foreman, and while it is my equipment that we are using, then oh new baby boy rolling down the hill at the railway tracks through the brambles never gonna stop crying coz its a blud, bluddy hed that will zing onto the circular saw left in the on-position. Zing go little baby girl.
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DUMMY:
I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW WHO WROTE ALL THE INDIVIDUAL SONGS ON NIGHTMARES IN THE KEY OF WOW.
(MARINA from MELBOURNE)
TUCKER B’S:
And I would love to know who would win in a fight between your grandma (smeared in pig fat) and my rottweiller (starved for three weeks) but it not likely happen so tell your fkn Granny to cool it and cancel the cops/.
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DUMMY:
sometimes i get up in the middle of the night and do a night-poo. i have been told that this is wrong. is this wrong?
(bucky from dark place)
TUCKER B’S:
It couldn’t be righter my froynd. It is on par with looking accross the candlelit table at your hansum date, halfway through a deslishus meal of filet mill-yon, just after taking a sip of sspenssive woyn, and saying, “Won’t you skewz me, I have an extrusion that needs attending to. Promise to wash ma hands up! Ha ha ha!”.
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DUMMY:
whats the name of that blimmin song of yours about always being drunk by lunchtime? Absolutely love it , but cant find any evidence on the
( from )
TUCKER B’S:
The nyme of thit blimmin’ song is ‘Bear’. Fear not shy shild, The evidence will find you (and mercilessly bludgeon you with your own ‘life experience’). In the mealtime, have a look at our myspace site to hear that there song – or for a massive charge we could have it arranged such that it is played all day and night through the speakers in the ceiling of your cell.
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